Worst Days
by Rogue Fox
Summary: After TSR: There are a thousand things they need to say, but he doesn't know how, and she is afraid. All anyone can do is hope the worst days are over. Rated mainly for violence and adult themes in later chapters. CHAPTER EIGHT!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Don't own FMP. Not pretending I do. Not making any money.

Notes: Takes place after Second Raid. Follows anime plot line. Contains some mild spoilers. Rated for adult themes, alcohol use, some disturbing images, and violence in later chapters.

Enjoy.

*+*+*

It was over. Finally. What could only be called the fourth worst day of his life was finally over. Somewhere between nearly resigning from Mithril and wondering how his ear drums could take such a battery from Mizuki while Chidori sobbed into his chest he had decided it was the fourth worst day of his life. He'd had time to think about while Kyoko escorted a still sobbing Chidori to the girls' bathroom and Mizuki and the other girls scolded him for something they were not entirely aware he'd done.

_The first worst day was when Gauron said she was dead and I believed him…_

He'd thought about it more while Onodera and Shinji "consoled" him for his misfortune with the fairer sex.

_The second worst day was when my adopted father died…_

And he'd continued to consider it as Mr. Fujitaki lectured on Japanese classics.

_The third worst day was when they ordered me not to contact Chidori…_

But it was over now. No more worst days. He set his jaw in determination. No more of that at all. His days from now on couldn't be that bad, just like today wasn't that bad, because as it ended, he got to be with her.

_Chidori…_

She'd been silent through most of the day. She hadn't spoken to him all day, not since the incident in the hallway. She wasn't ignoring him, though, he was sure of that. It was almost as if… she just had nothing to say. But that couldn't be right, either. Chidori always had something to say. He wanted to say something, anything, just to break the silence. He was willing to make a fool of himself again just so he could hear her laugh at him. But nothing came out of his mouth. They just walked, sun setting over the cityscape around them, a foot or so between them.

_Just say something, soldier!_

But even as he opened his mouth, fully aware that he was probably about to insert his foot, she beat him to it.

" So, have they already got all your stuff back to your apartment yet? If not, I can loan you some blankets. It's going to be chilly tonight." She started conversationally.

" Uh…" he was caught off guard at first. " Negative… Mithril is no longer paying for my lodgings. I will have to find new lodgings myself."

" Wait, what? What do you mean, Mithril's not paying for your apartment?" Chidori asked suddenly.

" It's part of the new arrangement. I must provide my own lodgings."

" So where are you staying tonight?" Chidori asked. He'd been sure she'd ask about the new arrangement, but instead she pursued that topic.

" Uh… I suppose I'll get a hotel room…" he said, uncomfortable with the thought of spending a sleepless night in an ill-protected cheap motel.

Something shifted in Chidori's eyes at the mention of the word hotel. Anyone else, even Kyoko, might not have noticed, but he did. And she knew he did. She turned her face from him, from his intensifying gaze. A thousand questions burned in his throat, searing through his mind faster than freshly fired RPG. She knew that too.

" I know you've got questions." She started shakily. He wanted to back away and move closer, all at once. He feared a repeat of the hallway incident, both because an unnerved, weeping Chidori scared him and because he hated himself when she was upset… he never knew how to make her happy again.

" A-affirmative." He wished his voice were steadier. He wished he were better. He wished he knew what to say or do that would chase away the shadow that had fallen over her eyes.

" I… I just can't deal with it yet, Sousuke, okay? Don't ask. When I'm ready, I'll tell you everything, okay?" she barely ground out her uncertain statement. He wanted to protest. He wanted to demand to know now. She could see that in his eyes, he was sure. " Please, Sousuke?" The way she said that, the way she pleaded with him, took the fire right out of him.

" Roger." He muttered, thoroughly displeased with this outcome.

" For now, can we just go back to how it was before? Just for now?" she asked, looking up to him with a tiny glimmer of hope in her expressive eyes.

He was torn.

_Yes, of course we can. It will be just like before. I will make mistakes and you can correct me with force. I will say something dumb and you can laugh at me. I will jump and run and chase every shadow that crosses your path because that is what I do, and I do it to protect you._

Or…

_No. You know we can't do that. Everything is changed now, and we can't go back. I don't want to go back. Because…_

"Wuh… would that make you happy?" he asked instead, unsure.

" For now, yes. It would." She responded quietly. She sounded ashamed. He wondered why as she reached up and rubbed her lips.

" For now, then. But just for now." He said slowly. She smiled, but it was small and broken and nothing like what he wanted to see.

" Thank you, Sousuke." She whispered. " Anyway, I won't let you stay at a hotel. Come stay at my place. You can sleep on the couch."

" I would hate to impose…" he began, unsure of himself for a dozen reasons.

" Oh stop it. You won't be imposing and you know it. You're staying with me until you find an apartment and that's final." She had that tone of voice, and he knew there was no point in arguing.

He liked to watch her move. The way she swayed back and forth as she thoughtfully stirred the curry. He liked to watch her face, the way her lower lip protruded slightly as she contemplated shadows he could only guess at.

" _She's dead, and it was slow and painful…"_

He hated the shiver that overtook him, the slow, creeping darkness that engulfed his world as he returned to that hollow, horrible moment. Gauron… Chidori… dead. Dead. No more laughter, no more harisen, no more expressive eyes looking up at him happily. No more. He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, his tightened chest muscles releasing slowly and thankfully. He opened his eyes again and beheld her again. Fear tightened its hold on him, irrational, insatiable fear. She was so small and the world was so big and full of so many evil people who would cause her pain…

" Chidori?" his voice sounded small, plaintive, petulant. He sounded childish, at least to himself. She turned and regarded him thoughtfully over his shoulder.

" Mm-hmm?" she hummed in answer. For a moment, time froze and he wished it would never start again. He could be happy to regard her like this forever. But time stops for nothing…

" I… I just… Um… nothing. Please disregard."

She blinked slowly at him, and for a moment he could have sworn there was understanding in her eyes, as though she understood what he wanted to say even though he did not. She nodded and turned back to the curry and he returned to hating his inability to articulate the million thoughts he was dying to say.

*+*+*

She woke the next morning in her bed. She did not remember going there. She was still wearing the baggy pants and oversized tee she'd been wearing the night before.

_I must have fallen asleep during the movie… did Sousuke bring me in here?_

She pushed the blanket off and stood unsteadily. It was nearly noon, and for a moment she panicked and thought she'd slept through half the school day, until she remembered it was Sunday.

It was quiet. So quiet, too quiet. A jolt of fear ran through her as she stumbled into the main room of her apartment. There was no one there. The fear grew.

_No, not again… No!_

" Sousuke? Sousuke?! Sousuke!" she practically shrieked. There was a crash and suddenly a rush of steam from the bathroom. Sousuke came careening into view, Glock 19 leveled in one hand and the other hand clutching a towel tossed haphazardly around his waist. Otherwise, the hapless Sergeant was notably naked.

" What?! What is it? Is there an intruder?" He immediately began to barrage her with questions, striding towards her a_s _she stared dumbfounded at his all but nude body. Hard, strong lines contoured the muscles of his chest, muscles that flexed and relaxed with every confident step. She suddenly felt overwhelmed, and then she remembered…

" _Look at me…"_

Unwelcome eyes raking over her body, unwelcome hands on her arms, unwelcome lips against hers, and almost worse than all the others, the unwelcome smell of _him _in her nostrils. She unconsciously wiped at her lips as a hand grabbed her arm. She flinched.

" Chidori, answer me…" a voice from far away whispered.

_Where are you, where are you, where are you?_

" Chidori…"

" Oh god, where are you?"

" Kaname!"

She started, and looked up, fearful of what she might see. Relief flooded her veins when she saw familiar dark hair and steely grey eyes, regarding her in a near panic. His scent filled her nose and his hand gripped her firmly.

" Sousuke? Oh…" She wanted to cry. She thought how weak she must seem in his eyes. " Y-you weren't there when I woke up and then I thought… and… oh…" She couldn't stop the tears from leaking out of her eyes. Sousuke's eyes flared wide when he saw.

_Oh god he probably thinks I'm so pathetic…_

She tried to back away from him, but his grip on her arm tightened. He wouldn't let her. She couldn't look at him, she couldn't bear for him to see her this way.

" I'm sorry."

She could hardly believe the words that came from his mouth. She looked up at him, unsure. His normally clear eyes were clouded.

" I'm sorry… I… I don't know what to say or do to make you happy again. I know if I was better or smarter I would know, but I don't. So… just tell me what to do, Kaname, and I'll do it. Just tell me what will make you happy again."

She blinked. She wanted to wrap her arms around him, but she couldn't move. He was so… she couldn't think of how to describe it to herself. He seemed so large… the largest thing in the world. And so… very masculine. She was distinctly aware of him as a male, and suddenly, of herself as female. It wasn't the first time she'd thought like this about him, but he was so close and so… unclothed. So she just shook her head and forced a small, pathetic smile. For his sake, she could fake a smile until her cheeks hurt.

" Would you… would you take me someplace?" she asked quietly.

" Anywhere. Just tell me where." He responded instantly.

" I want to go to the park. The one where you told me I looked lovely in my mom's kimono." She knew by the look in his eyes that he remembered the exact spot.

" Roger." And then he blushed. " Let me just… uh, get dressed."

Sousuke paid for the train ride to the park. They walked silently through to park, until they finally arrived at the path that snaked around the lake. It was not nearly as lovely a day as it had been when they'd last been there. It was cold and gray. Even Sousuke snuffed at the chill in the air, through his Mithril issue fatigues and jacket. He walked quietly beside her, even in spite of his heavy combat boots. She herself wore a jacket and jeans with matching brown and pink gloves and scarf. She'd thought they were terribly cute when she'd bought them, but now they looked muted with the gray day. She stopped suddenly to look out over the choppy, gray-green lake and the leafless trees. Sousuke stopped with her, hands in his pockets to keep them warm, and his eyes also flicked over the landscape around them, but he was looking for something particular, that familiar glint of sunlight off binoculars in the distance that would tell him Wraith's location.

" Spot him?" she asked quietly when he turned his eyes back to the lake, a dissatisfied frown on his somber features.

" No. The sun's not good enough to give away his position." Sousuke might have huffed, if he were more expressive. " Besides, I think he must be using the trees to cover himself." She smiled softly. The statement was downright sulky by Sousuke terms.

" You don't like not knowing where Wraith is, huh?" she asked.

" Negative. I do not." Sousuke almost grimaced. " The thought of someone I don't know watching us – watching you – unnerves me."

She didn't speak. When she didn't, Sousuke looked her worriedly. She only forced another smile for him, wishing with all of her heart that he would not pursue the topic. Thinking of Wraith made her remember the last couple of days, and she was not ready for that yet.

But still, to ask Sousuke to pretend that nothing had changed between them, that everything was just like it was before she gave him a hair cut… was that right? Was that fair? She looked at him again, searching for some sign on his features. As usual, his face was stoic as he faced the lake, but when he turned to her, an unasked question clear in his eyes, she found that she could read much more than usual from him. She read something there that she wasn't sure she was ready to read.

" Sousuke…" She started, but when his eyebrows rose questioningly, she found herself losing her courage. So instead… " I wanted to apologize. It wasn't fair of me to ask you… to ask what I asked you yesterday. So, if you don't want to pretend like nothing happened, that's-"

" Negative." Sousuke's voice stopped her in her tracks. His eyes were serious, but not stony… " There is nothing that you could ask me to do that I would not do for you." He blushed slightly, a little color creeping up his neck and infecting his ears. " It… it's not a question of fair or not. If that's what it takes to make you happy, then that's what I'll do. Besides…" he swallowed. " We have all the time we need. Take all the time you want, Kaname."

There, he'd called her by her first name again. He'd done it that morning also, but at the time, she hadn't noticed. The way he said her name made her happy. Like every syllable was something precious that he wanted to protect. But even those thoughts could not warm the coldness that crept into her gut.

" But what if you leave? What if you leave and don't come back and I can't find you?" She had to ask it. It burned inside her to ask it.

Sousuke was silent for a long moment, looking out over the water. Finally, he turned back to her.

" I'm sorry, Kaname, I can't promise you that I won't ever leave again. And I certainly can't promise you I'll always come back on time, or even at all." he stopped suddenly. He'd lost his nerve, she knew, and was struggling to gain it back. He sighed in frustration. " I'm sorry, there are so many things I want to tell you and I'd made up my mind to do it, but… every time I try nothing happens. It's more frustrating than that stupid Arbalest."

She smiled. A real, genuine smile. Something in Sousuke's features lightened at the sight of it.

" It's okay. You said we have time." She stopped and drew in a slow breath. " You said something about a new arrangement with Mithril…?"

It took Sousuke a moment to recover from the dangerously emotional conversation they'd nearly engaged in.

" Affirmative. It's… well, basically, I asked to re-evaluate my contract with Mithril."

" Oh? So… does that mean…" She was afraid to ask, afraid to voice her hopes. But she didn't need to. Sousuke understood.

"Negative… I will still be required to perform missions, but only those that require the Arbalest."

" In other words, the really dangerous ones." She couldn't keep the sour tone from her voice. Sousuke frowned.

" Not necessarily. In any case though, people need my help. I can't just ignore the skills I have that can help them."

" I know." She sulked a little. Why him? Why was he the only one that could do those things? She knew the factual answer, but that didn't stop her small and feeble anger at fate. " So… Mithril's not paying for your apartment now? Does that mean…"

" Affirmative. Less missions, but now I have to find my own residence."

" So then, they cut your pay, I'd imagine."

" Affirmative. I offered to go down to half, but the Captain would only allow them to cut only a third off."

" When was all this decided?"

" This morning."

" So… two thirds your pay…" She'd never asked what Sousuke earned. " Will it be a problem?" Sousuke's eyes clouded for a moment.

" I don't know yet…" then he shook his head. " Negative, it's not a problem. I'll make it work."

" You can stay with me as long as you need."

For once, he didn't protest, but just offered her a small, funny smile.

" I still have things I need to tell you. A lot of things."

" I know, and…" she sucked in a deep, painful breath. " There are a lot of things I need to tell you too. But like you said, we have time. More tome than ever now. So… let's take it slow, okay?"


	2. Chapter 2

Notes: Relatively shocked at the reception of this fic, but very thankful none the less. Caught a series of typos in the first chap, post upload. Apologies around the board. Little bit of sexual themes in this one; keeping in mind that "little" is meant like a parsley garnish on a big fat plate of lasagna.

A week had passed, quietly and unassumingly. It reminded him of the times when he had been injured – the same painstakingly slow healing process. He was healing from the weeks of emotional turmoil and anxiety caused by too many missions, too much homework, and something else he still had no name for. And Chidori… she was healing too.

She hissed dangerously as he peeled the bandages away from her ribs.

" I still don't understand. Why didn't you go to the hospital, Chidori?" Her eyes flashed dangerously at him. He was crouched on his knees on her bed, bending at a difficult angle so that he could examine the swollen bruises on her right side while she sat on the edge of the bed ahead of him. She wore her red and blue midriff top, in spite of the chill, so that he could get a clear view of her injury.

She didn't answer and he frowned in frustration.

" Right, fine. Don't tell me." He snapped. It was not a pleasant feeling to snap at her, and most definitely not something he was used to, but it was getting ridiculous. It had been Monday morning when, just as the two of them were heading out the door, she had bumped into the door and nearly collapsed, sobbing in pain. He'd then found out about the broken ribs. She'd waited another two days to tell him about the injured ankle. He'd been furious with her, possibly for the first time.

He cursed lightly in Farsi.

" What does that mean?" Chidori asked sharply. He frowned.

" Nothing polite." He said, feeling caught in the act. He sighed. " I need to feel the bone, Kaname." He said gently. He reverted to her first name, knowing it put her at ease. She looked down at him, the painful wince already on her face. " I'm sorry, but I have to. If I don't, it might heal wrong and you'll have problems breathing." She nodded curtly. He stripped off his belt and handed it to her, and she looked at him blankly. " Bite it." She grimaced.

"What? No way-"

" Bite it so you don't scream." He explained. " Also you won't bite your tongue." Kaname looked at him in bewilderment but obediently put the belt in her mouth. He was trying very hard not to watch her pink feminine lips close around the dark leather. It was hard enough being so close to her naked abdomen, never mind the steady rise and fall of her… chest… area… " Okay." He said, to steady them both, and his hands shot out to feel the contours of her ribs.

Immediately, she made a horrible keening noise through the leather that made him wince. He hated to cause her any pain, but it had to be done. And surely enough, her rib was healing at an odd angle. He made a swift motion and there was a loud pop as Kaname veritably screeched. He was thankful for the leather that muted it. He backed away from her, hands up in the air to let her know it was over. She immediately spat out the belt and gasped, turning to him with a tearful expression.

" I'm sorry, Kaname." It seemed like he was always saying that. She just shook her head.

" It… it had to be done." She panted. " What was that pop?"

" I popped your rib back into place. If it doesn't heal correctly, you might wind up needing to have it continually popped. It's… unpleasant, even after years of doing it." Kaname looked less than pleased and the frustration rose again. "Well, it wouldn't have been a problem if you had gone to the hospital." He felt childish, but she should know better! It was his job to get hurt, not hers.

" Would you quit nagging me about the hospital?!" she snapped back. He was unmoved. He'd known she'd snap eventually, but he was prepared for it.

" Negative, I will not." He ground out his protest purposefully. " I am not a trained medic, Kaname and these injuries are serious-"

" Serious, bah!" Kaname huffed. " You've had shrapnel sticking out of your side and told me it wasn't serious. If you're trying to be gentlemanly or something because I'm a girl and you think I can't take it, you'd better quit."

He chose to ignore her rudeness at interrupting him.

" That wound was not serious. It was just a gash. No major organ or arteries were injured, and it didn't even hit the ribs. This is a broken bone, Kaname, and just because it's not preventing you from most of your daily activities does not mean it's not serious and won't affect you the rest of your life if not properly treated. I am not prepared to let you do that. You're going to the hospital." He said as firmly as he could.

" No, I'm not. I can't afford it without using my father's insurance and then my father would get the statement, and what would I tell him?"

" I'll pay in cash so it won't go to insurance, and no, you will not owe me anything. It's worth it to make sure you get proper treatment."

He'd considered taking her out to the de Danaan to be examined by the ship medic. But… she'd been so happy with him of late. Broken ribs aside, they'd been getting along, just avoiding any talk about Mithril or those horrible four days.

" But they'll still alert my father because I'm underage." Kaname protested.

" Fine, we'll lie and say you fell. Happens sometimes."

It kind of startled them both at how easily the lie formed on his lips. He was used to it, but still…

" Does it hurt still?" he asked after a moment of silence. She grimaced.

" Some. Throbbing, really." She told him slowly.

" Put on your jacket, we're going now."

*+*+*

It was a long evening. Sousuke was agitated. Tonight, she had learned he hated civilian hospitals.

" Inefficient, ineffective, and unproductive…" he mumbled. " I still can't believe it took three hours for them to even see you, and that nurse! Implying that I would ever lay a hand on you!"

She would have giggled but she was tired. The pain meds they had given her were making her sleepy. Sousuke was supporting her by putting a strong arm around her waist. She let her body mold to his firmer one, letting him carry her weight.

" Sousuke, I'm hungry… order something okay?" she said, but her voice sounded faraway.

" What do you want, Kaname?"

" Oh maybe… hamburgers or sushi or ice cream…" Somewhere in her head that didn't make sense. Sousuke frowned.

" I think you need to lie down."

" Maybe… but… only… I don't want to cause you'll leave me alone."

" Do you want me to stay with you tonight?" he asked, uneasily.

" Yup!" she chirped cheerfully. " Maybe that way I won't have any nightmares."

He never did ask her what she was talking about. At least, not that she could remember.

She woke up the next morning in her bed. She was wearing pajamas, she knew because she could see her arm. Sleepily, she rolled over, intent on going back to sleep, but was surprised awake. Sousuke was sitting on her bed, wearing a pair of sweatpants and a tee-shirt, looking out the window. Just as she saw him, he turned and looked at her.

" Good morning, Kaname. Did you sleep well?" He sounded calm and casual as she sat up. He probably read the alarm spreading over her face. " Um… you were out of sorts last night because of the pain medication, and seemed really alarmed at the fact that I was not going to be in the same room with you… so I thought it would be alright if I just sat here… I have to admit, though, I, uh, fell asleep somewhere around 03:00 hours."

" Why didn't you just wait till I fell asleep and go sleep on the couch?"

" Because you made me promise I wouldn't." Sousuke looked honestly terrified. He looked like he'd just discovered he had thrown a superior officer to the ground and put a gun to his face (again) but this time he'd been ordered to do so by the same officer, but still knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he stood a very real chance of having to visit that civilian hospital again.

It was almost cute.

" Oh. I don't remember that…" she said thoughtfully. The thought of Sousuke sitting faithfully beside her all night long gave her a warm feeling in her gut, like a soft affirmation that he actually cared. It was very easy to lose herself in the annoyance he sometimes caused her. But all the same… it seemed to her he'd been trying very hard lately to be better. Silently she reached out and grasped his hand. The minute her skin touched his, there was a spark of electricity. She wanted to snatch her hand back immediately, but something inside her resisted. She felt him tense, but he didn't pull away either. Something was burning inside her, just below her belly button. She looked at him and wantonly wondered what his lips felt like. Would they be rough and firm, like his chest had felt the handful of times she'd found herself slammed against it? Or would they be soft and gentle, the way his eyes were when she said something kind to him?

The thought made her blush. Her mind had raced ahead of her modesty, and suddenly she had the mental image of his large, thick form pressing down on her, pinning her between himself and something solid. She blushed harder.

Sousuke, ever damnably watchful, noticed.

" Kaname, do you have a fever?" he asked suddenly, pressing the back of his hand to her forehead.

He must have felt it too. His left hand was still joined to her right hand, and now his right on her forehead… they both froze. It felt so small on that bed. She could only see his face. Something darkened in his eyes, in a way she'd never seen before. His hand on her forehead slowly drifted down to her cheek. She just stared at him. What else could she do?

_Oh god… what do I say, what do I do?_

Sousuke blinked, and that was all it took. His hand snapped away from her. But it was too late, the burning had raged hotter. She wanted something, but had no idea what. A vague sense of some sort of… pressure… rhythm… She remembered the darkness in his gaze and that made her want whatever it was more.

" I… I…" he stuttered. She looked at him slowly, almost blearily. Could he possibly…

A cell phone rang. It was his. He answered it on ring two. He spoke a series of one word answers. He hung up the phone.

" I have a mission tomorrow."

" That's… more warning that usual." She muttered. It was not the first thing that had popped into her mind to say, but the half-formed thought that she was going to say had already faded from her mind.

" Part of the new agreement." He explained.

The distance between them seemed enormous. The silence between them seemed deafening. Something had almost happened, something that she wasn't sure she wanted or even understood. She wondered if he did. She wondered if she should ask. But she didn't… or couldn't.

" I… I'll be leaving at 0500 hours tomorrow." He went on unsteadily, like he'd been knocked badly on the head and wasn't sure what he'd been doing beforehand.

" You'll… miss the review for the English test." She said quietly. She didn't even know why she said it. It didn't matter. Why would it matter? Sousuke was fluent in English, and although he knew more about the names of armored vehicles than past-tense verbs, his understanding of the language made it the one class he was maintaining a decent grade in, seconded by his passing math grade. She suddenly felt like all the time they had was draining away from them.

" Affirmative, but it's just a day mission. I will be back by dinner tomorrow."

_But what if you're not?_

She wiped her lips unconsciously.

" You… you'd better come back. Because I'm going to make you curried rice for dinner, okay?"

_I'm such a coward._

She could never say what she wanted to say.

" I will." He said it so quietly, so plainly. There was nothing but sincerity in his words. They made her not only believe him, but more importantly, believe in him.

He would come back to her.

That night, as she was getting ready for bed, Sousuke knocked on her door. When she let him in, he handed her a taser, very similar to the one she'd used on the roof… that night.

" I looked, but I can't seem to find the other one I gave you around… and I wanted to be sure you would be… well, at least you can protect yourself." He was biting off insults about Wraith, she knew.

She'd lost the other taser on that night.

" Thank you." She said simply, avoiding any discussion about the whereabouts of the other taser. Sousuke, for once in his life not chewing on his own foot, did not pursue the topic.

" Remember, lock the doors the minute you come home. And, go home directly after school. If you feel uneasy about anything, call someone to stay with you. And don't hesitate to use this." He pointed bluntly at the taser in her hand. She bit her lip uneasily.

" Hurry back, okay?" she whispered. She sensed him tense a little, and she sensed the words on the tip of his tongue, but he never said them.

" Roger."

He was gone when she woke up.


	3. Chapter 3

Notes: Still amazed but thankful for all the reviews. Know this fic is going slow but… bear with it. One more chap of mush, then the aforementioned adventure-action type stuff will begin. Ten points to whoever can spot the forshadowing.

There was nothing like a long day's work. Even if that long day's work was filled with beating the "living shit" (as Mao described it) out of some disgruntled Cambodian terrorists. They were so small and so under-armed, he wondered why they'd bothered to step in, never mind why his presence was required. He'd asked Grouseaux about it, but was promptly informed that in spite of his performance in Hong Kong, he was still in desperate need of practice with the Lambda Driver, and not to question orders.

He was in a hurry to get back to the de Danaan, because from there he could probably talk Santos into taking off for Tokyo early. Perhaps he may have been a little too zealous.

" Alright, Sergeant, I get it, you want to get back to your girl. Quit rushing things." Grouseaux reprimanded him lightly. The normal chatter on the radios ground to a halt.

" Sorry, Urzu 1, I did not copy that. What do you mean?" he asked. It seemed like an innocent enough question.

" I repeat, Urzu 7, your girl. The infamous Angel." Grouseaux elaborated, which only deepened his confusion. Kurz snickered.

" Copy that. Angel is not 'my girl.' Angel does not belong to anyone." He frowned. He thought Grouseaux was more open-minded than that.

" Uh, roger, but that's not what I meant, Sergeant. Your girl, as in your girlfriend, your lover."

Kurz suddenly burst out laughing.

" Uh…" was all a certain blushing Sergeant ground out.

[Sergeant, would you like me to elaborate on the terms 'girlfriend' and 'lover?']

He clicked the outgoing radio off before he responded.

" No, Al, that is unnecessary." He remarked tersely. He clicked the outgoing radio back on as the normal chatter was replaced by laughter.

" Oh leave him alone!" Mao yelled. " I swear you lot are the worst bunch of perverts this side of the Prime Meridian!"

He now wanted to return to the de Danaan to just to not hear the echoing snickers.

He normally didn't rush his reports, but it was already nearly two in the afternoon and if he didn't hurry he would be late for dinner and a disappointed Chidori was a dangerous Chidori.

He turned his report in and headed for the hangar. He and Santos were going to have a chat…

" I just can't believe it."

_That's Grouseaux's voice._

He stopped before passing in front of the door to the bar, his face turned up in a funny expression. He did not make a habit of eavesdropping… Normally, at least.

" You can't be telling me that he hasn't made some kind of move?" That was Grouseaux again.

" Oh trust me, Ben, if he had, I would know."

_Mao?_

Suddenly, a hand landed on his shoulder. Surprised, he looked behind himself to see Kurz making a "shh" motion.

" I'm pretty good friends with Kaname, and she would have told me if he had."

" Fine, but… you saw that boy in Hong Kong! Yang told me about what happened in Hong Kong when they found Sagara. He practically begged them to shoot him! Did you know that?"

" I'd heard." Mao's voice was quiet, and there was the sound of clinking glass.

" We took that kid away from this Angel girl for not even a full week and it was like we'd told him he was going to die."

" In his mind, we had."

He swallowed. He wasn't sure he wanted to hear any more, but Kurz's hand held him firmly in place.

" He doesn't… he couldn't…" Mao sighed. " He has no idea how to even go at the things he's feeling right now. No one ever told him about love or romance. There weren't very many good examples of happy couples when he was growing up, and unlike most kids nowadays, he didn't even have pop culture to tell him how men and women should act. All he ever had was war."

" I can understand that but still. Instinct has got to count for something."

He wondered what Grouseaux meant by "instinct."

" Sure, instinct counts. But instinct doesn't tell you how to take a girl to dinner, or how to open the door for her. You know, all those funny little social things you do to tell her you care without saying you care. Hell, just saying he cares is an issue for Sousuke." He could almost hear the pained smile in her voice. " He's a good kid, Ben…"

" Well yeah, I'm sure he's a good kid, Melissa. But I can't believe that he doesn't feel anything for that poor girl just because of his childhood. I won't believe it. He's still a human being, Melissa, and human beings fall in love."

Feelings? Feelings for Chidori? Well… he thought so… Feelings… were harder than fighting. Kurz's hand tightened on his shoulder.

" Oh, of course they do, Ben." Mao said, and her voice was low and soft. " And Sousuke is no different. It's just… harder for him. He feels a lot for Kaname. He just doesn't know what to do with that."

Grouseaux sighed.

" Well, let's get him, then. I'm sure he's eager to get back to Tokyo. I really have to meet this Chidori girl sometime…"

There was the sound of scraping chairs and footsteps. He panicked. He would have stood there looking guilty if Kurz hadn't hauled him back a few steps and then shoved him forward.

Mao came out of the bar first.

" Oh, hey you two. We were just coming to get you."

" Really? We were looking for you!" Kurz responded before he could. Something in Kurz's voice sounded a little off.

" Uh-huh." Grouseaux's eyes on them were suspicious. Sousuke gulped.

" Alright, Sousuke, ready to go back to Tokyo?"

" Affirmative." He could hardly keep the eagerness out of his voice.

It was nearly four hours later when he found himself standing in front of the door to Kaname's apartment.

_Feelings._

He pulled his keys slowly from his pocket and looked at the key to Chidori's apartment.

_Feelings. Do I… have "feelings" for Chidori?_

He gulped. He was frozen to the spot and could not seem to move to open the door.

_I… it's not my place. I have a responsibility. I have to keep her safe._

He wondered how her day had been. He wondered if she'd had a good time at school. He wondered if she'd even noticed he was gone.

_She's… much better than that. She deserves someone who can make her happy. Not me. I won't even be here for her…_

He remembered that… male creature… she had gone to the amusement park with. He was taller and… blonder. And funnier too.

_Do I have feelings for her? She's… not like anyone else. She's…_

Her laugh. Her smile. Her eyes. Her hands. The way she looked at him when he was waiting for her after school. And the way he felt when she had been taken from his life.

_The most important person in my life._

He swallowed. He felt like there was no way he could open the door. It was like… he was assuming too much.

So he knocked.

_Let me in. Please let me in, Kaname. I have something I have to tell you._

*+*+*

It was Monday morning. Around ten or so. And she was not in school.

She hadn't been able to make herself go. So instead she'd closed all the curtains and double checked the locks. She'd taken the taser into the living room with her and curled with her favorite blanket and pillow on the couch. She tried to read, tried to turn on her favorite CD. But nothing worked.

_Sousuke…_

She tried to call his cell, but had been told by the recording that he was out of signal range. She wondered what corner of the globe he'd gone too. So instead she dialed another number on her cell, labeled only W. She let it ring once and hung up, staring expectantly at the phone in her hands. After a moment, it rang with an unknown number on the screen.

" Hello?" she asked hopefully after picking up.

" If you're calling to whine cause your toy soldier is on a play date, don't." the voice on the other end of the line was electronically disguised.

She frowned.

" I'm calling because I'm worried."

" Oh spare me the juicy details. Look, no one's following you but me and you haven't even left the house all day. Go shopping or something. Isn't that what you cute types do?"

" Where is he?"

" Pfft. Like I'd tell you."

" I could tell a certain captain what you did – or didn't do, incidentally – on a certain night not too long ago…"

" Fine. You really are a bitch, you know that?"

She made no response.

" He's in Cambodia. Some terrorist camp or something like that. Can't get more specific than that."

" Is he… okay?"

" Well, hell if I know. Intelligence is hardly concerned with him. But reports say the operation is going smoothly."

" Oh."

" Yeah. Oh. You finished being a sap?"

" Yeah. Later."

She hung up.

She hated waiting.

She hated the fear. The unreasonable fear. That someone would come. That she wouldn't be able to defend herself. Again. Or worse, that bastard would come back. And Sousuke wouldn't be here. Or that Sousuke would never…

She'd once heard a term. Soldier wives. It was used to refer to the wives left behind when soldiers went to war. She'd always pitied those women. She felt bad for them. She wondered how much it must hurt, to stay behind while the man you love goes off to risk his life.

She never thought she'd be sitting on her couch wishing someone she… cared for… would come back from war.

The day ticked by. Too slow. She started the curry late because he was always late. She hated the last hour. That was the hour where she was always waiting for the phone to ring, waiting for someone like Kalinin or Mardukas to tell her that he would never come back again.

There was a knock at the door.

Her heart leapt into her throat. She hurried to the door and yanked it open.

There he was. Looking surprised, relieved, anxious, and happy all at once.

She felt like she could breathe again.

" Welcome back." She said, forcing a smile to her face. He gave her a funny half smile.

" It's good to be back." He said, stepping in. She closed the door behind him, suddenly nervous. Her mind raced back to yesterday morning and their almost-something moment.

" The curry's not quite ready yet, are you hungry?"

" Affirmative." He said. He looked… unsure. " Kaname-"

" Yes?" she said too quickly. He gulped visibly.

" I… uh… wuh…" he swallowed again and took a deep breath, seeming to steady himself. " Would it be strange if… if I said… that-you-were-the-most-important-person-in-the-world-to-me?!"

She didn't know what to think or say. But he looked serene and calm. Like the tension had suddenly left him. She swallowed.

_The most important person in the world to him?_

Was that strange? What did he mean? Was it strange for him to say that?

She reached out and grabbed his jacket, gripping it like she would die without it.

" When you say… important… what do you mean? Important like Mao and Kurz?" she asked slowly, not meeting his eyes.

She had to know.

He shook his head slowly.

" Or important like Tessa?"

He shook his head more fervently.

" So… are those people not important to you at all?"

He swallowed. Again.

" Nuh… negative. Those people… are important also… but it's… different."

She smiled slowly.

" Then… I suppose… that it isn't strange. Not at all." She looked up at him. His eyes had that darkness again. " I suppose… you are the most important person to me too." His eyes softened, but he didn't move.

" I… don't know what to do…" he admitted.

" You could… we could…" she blushed a bit and decided to be modest. " Hug… you know, put your arms around me. I mean, that is, if you don't-"

" It's not a problem." His voice was soothing.

And suddenly, she was against his chest. His arms were looped around her back, holding her firmly there. She breathed in his scent and felt the shock and tension melt away. She rubbed her cheek against his shirt and sighed.

It wasn't perfect but… it was something.


	4. Chapter 4

Notes: Once again. Thanks a lot for the reviews. More sexual themes here. Could now be considered the top layer of sauce on the lasagna. Feeling a little uneasy about the mood of this one… would really appreciate some feedback there.

He really should have been doing his homework.

He knew that but it was hard. Who knew temptation was such a strong foe? He resigned himself to the fact that no matter what his conscience said on the matter, he was not moving. Why in the world would he want to?

Kaname was snuggled against his chest, halfway sprawled onto his lap, watching some American action movie. They'd just finished her curry dinner, and he was wearing her pink sweater that he always thought was impractical because it didn't seem to fit her quite right… it was always falling off her shoulders. Now he understood the sweater's power. From his angle of sight above her, he could practically see down her shirt. It wasn't the first time he'd encountered such a view. But it was the first time he'd had the opportunity to look a second and, dare he think it, a third time. He wondered if she knew he could see her… lacey undergarments.

Not that he was complaining.

Of course the view brought up a number of interesting thoughts and questions. He wondered what that portion of her anatomy felt like. He'd seen pictures of women with dysfunctional clothing a number of times. He was, after all, raised primarily by soldiers. So, he had a good understanding of how things looked. But he wondered how they felt. He found this question to be particularly persistence, resulting in a minor discomfort in his pants. He also wondered what she would do if he were to try to get an answer his first question. He couldn't help wincing lightly at the very painful possibilities.

" Shouldn't you be doing your homework?" Kaname asked suddenly, looking up at him.

" Uh… affirmative."

" Oh ho ho. You'd better get to work then." She said, grinning slyly. He nodded, but didn't move. " Sousuke, you'd better-" she started to scold, bringing her hand up to point her finger at him, but he found himself more inclined to be mischievous than obedient… at least for now. So he caught her wrist in his hands and pinned her to the couch. " Sousuke! What are you doing?!" she shrieked at him, blushing furiously. To his credit, he had absolutely no idea. But whatever it was, it seemed pretty fun so far, so he kept going. But just as he had her absolutely pinned…

The apartment shook, and a deep "woom" noise could be heard.

Kaname yelped.

He froze.

The shaking stopped.

" Wuh… was that an earthquake?"

He set his jaw and stood up, making his way to the window. The picture on the TV had gone fuzzy, and then was replaced by the recording of a cheerful Japanese woman.

" We're sorry, we seem to be having some technical difficulties. We'll be back in just a moment!"

He pulled the curtain back just enough to look out. He couldn't see anything too unusual… the power was flickering out to the left of the building.

" We're sorry, we seem to be…" the recording droned on.

" Sousuke?"

She sounded scared.

" It was just an earthquake, right?"

He wanted to say that it was, of course it was. Nothing to be worried about. But the horrible sinking feeling in his stomach told him otherwise.

Earthquakes don't go "woom."

Kaname's cell phone rang. She dashed across the room and grabbed it, answering it immediately.

" Hello?"

More power grids failed and the apartment went dark. The floor shook again and another faint "woom" reached his ears. The sinking feeling was getting worse.

" He's right here." Kaname moved to hand him the phone. He took it.

" Sagara." He said plainly, his voice terse.

" Get out, Sergeant." The electronically disguised voice that answered did nothing to soothe him. " It's bad. Take her and get out."

" What's happening?" he asked.

The apartment shook violently now.

" Arm Slaves, you moron! Arm Slaves are attacking! It's them for sure! Get-"

The line went dead.

And then he saw it. A Venom smashing through the cityscape. Smashing the familiar, comforting murmur that he had grown to enjoy. He drew the curtain open wider, and Kaname gasped. Already he felt the cold numbness descending on him, as his emotional "Tokyo" self gave way for his stone-cold "Mithril" self. He could not be hampered by feelings. He could not hesitate, he could not stop. He had to be one mind and one body… there was no need for his heart now. The warmth of Kaname's arms around him faded and soon only the numbness of the soldier remained.

" Get your jacket." He instructed quietly, turning and grabbing his Mithril-issue shoulder bag that contained all his worldly possessions. Kaname didn't move. " Kaname." He called to her, as calmly as he could. " We have to go. Now." He went on when she looked at him. She nodded, stunned, and hurried into her bedroom. She emerged moments later with a pink duffle bag, her jacket already on.

" Ready."

He nodded and led her out of the door. Her hands shook as she locked it behind them.

Outside, the streets were filled with panicked civilians.

" Sousuke… these people are all in danger, aren't they?"

He gulped, pulling them both into the current of the crowd. He wasn't sure if he was ready to face the choice between protecting her and protecting thousands of civilians.

" We can do nothing to help them with sacrificing our own lives. We have no choice but to retreat." He said firmly. She didn't answer, but he knew she hated the facts he had given her. He led her down the street several blocks, trying to blend in with the crowd. He walked quickly, but did not run, and kept his hand wrapped tightly around hers. He led her to a storage unit, which he unlocked with a key on his key ring. Inside was a large brown van and some boxes.

" Grab the boxes and get them in the van." He instructed, yanking open the van door and pulling the key out of the driver's side visor.

" These are kinda heavy, what's in them?"

" Rations, ammo, medical supplies. Everything we need for an emergency evacuation." He explained before trying to start the engine. He was relieved when it turned over effortlessly. He ignored the sound of another far off explosion. With the van running, he jumped out and helped Kaname load the last of the boxes and instructed her to get into the passenger seat. She was buckling her seat belt as he climbed in as well.

By the time they pulled onto the street, it was about empty. He just took in a deep breath and started driving, heading for the quickest route out of Tokyo.

" Open the glove compartment and hand me the radio speaker."

Kaname did as he asked, opening the compartment to reveal a Mithril issue long distance radio. She handed him one of the speakers.

" This is Urzu 7 to headquarters. Urzu 7 to headquarters, do you copy?"

Static answered.

" This is Urzu 7, requesting immediate evacuation. Do you copy, headquarters?"

Still static.

" This is Urzu 7, is there anyone out there?"

Nothing.

He handed the speaker back to Kaname.

" Keep an eye on that. If someone calls, tell me."

She nodded.

They drove in silence for a long moment.

" Wuh… where are we going, Sousuke?" she asked at last.

" One of the evac points. It's up north in the Tohoku region. There should be a GPS under your seat."

He paused while she fished the device out.

" Type in E-V-A-C 1-3." He spelled for her.

" Right, English letters." She murmured, typing. " Here." She handed him the device, which displayed road directions on the screen.

" Right. We're on our way."

*+*+*

They had been driving in silence for nearly two hours. She'd snacked nervously on a Calorie Mate and fiddled with a portable TV set, both of which she'd salvaged from one of the boxes in the back. She was afraid to turn it on, afraid of what she might see. A thousand burning thoughts were raging inside her like a horrible tempest. She felt as though she would burst at any time.

" Sousuke? What about all those people?"

" Don't think about it." He answered her very quickly.

" Will they die?" she ignored him. He sighed.

" Kaname. We have limited weapons and even if we had all the weapons in the world there's no way I can take down a Venom without the Arbalest. We'd be doing nothing but sacrificing our own lives for nothing."

" So… we just let them die, then?" she was getting angry.

" Mithril won't let that happen. By now Mithril has stepped in." She knew he was trying to be comforting.

" But even if they do, people might die because of those stupid… terrorists!" she raged. And then a cold realization swept over her. " People might die because of me."

Sousuke did a double take at her before his eyes reluctantly returned to the road.

" What? Negative, that's-"

" No, they would never have attacked Tokyo if I wasn't there."

" Kaname, that's not-"

" Oh my God."

She wanted to cry. She'd been so selfish. Insisting on staying in Tokyo, insisting on her normal life, and Sousuke was Sousuke. He'd just let her do as she pleased. But of course there would come a day when, for all his preparations and skill and training, Sousuke would be outnumbered, outgunned, and out-manuevered. Of course there would come a day when he would do what he knew was best and evacuate her. And of course the people she loved – the people she had insisted on being near – would be in danger on that day. They might die.

" Kaname…" Sousuke looked like he was in pain. She knew he didn't like mixing battle situations with feelings. It made it harder for him to do what he had to do. Instead of responding she just picked up the portable TV again and flicked it on. It was receiving on decrepit bunny ears, but they were thankfully still close enough to Tokyo to get all the familiar channels. She turned it to her local news channel.

" –word on who the mysterious Arm Slaves represent." A female announcer with messy hair and her normally neat blazer off, revealing her silk blouse. " Again, for those of you who have not evacuated Tokyo, please do so immediately. There is still no word on wounded or dead, but experts say that the damage to the city could will be will into trillions of yen…" the screen suddenly switched to a camera panning across a decimated Tokyo. Three Venoms still patrolled the empty, ruined city. " Also, we still have received no word on motivation or demands of the attackers-" she switched it off again. Of course she shouldn't have expected to see reports of Kyoko and the others…

She felt cold. She wished Sousuke would hug, but knew he wouldn't. He was driving and in soldier mode. So instead she just pulled her knees to her chest and hugged them instead.

It surprised her when he reached out and grabbed her hand and squeezed it, but she appreciated the comfort.

And they drove on silently, down the darkened, empty back road that was taking them to a new cold reality.

Now, she knew she never really could have avoided it anyway.


	5. Chapter 5

Notes: Character growth and stuff ahead. Also mushiness. Thanks again for the reviews. Doing lots for an undersized ego.

It was 0400 hours. It was cold, foggy, and wet. Optimum conditions for hiding from terrorists, but it might make things tricky for Santos.

That was… if Santos ever came.

And he was beginning to wonder if she would.

He looked to his left, where Kaname slept curled up on the floor board between the passenger and driver seats, dwarfed by a massive Mithril-issue sleeping bag. She had wanted to stay close to him, because she was shaken and needed comfort. He obliged her the last comfort he could. She had wanted a bath or at least to brush her teeth and she had wanted to stretch her legs but he could give her none of those things. Her safety was the priority and all else – her comfort included – came second.

He had watched the TV… more accurately, he had listened to it on the lowest volume setting while he peered anxiously through the window all night long, expecting at any moment to find himself surrounded. His back hurt from the uncomfortable driver seat and his right hand was cramping badly from gripping his favorite Uzi like a small child grips a security blanket. All sorts of nightmares sped through his head and the exhausted newscaster did nothing to cheer him.

Reports of the dead. Of the wounded. Of the destruction. Of the missing.

The worst was what they didn't report and that was Mithril's presence. He didn't expect to hear the mercenary group's name but perhaps mention of AS's coming to battle the Venom-types off or helicopters whisking survivors to safety under the cover of sophisticated stealth technology… but nothing came. And that spoke volumes.

Scenarios rushed through his brain and each one was more horrific than the last. Images of Kurz and Mao battling to their last to defend a badly damaged TDD… or of the Captain putting a gun to her head rather than fall into enemy hands for them to abuse the Whispered knowledge inside her… Impossible battle scenarios where Commander Mardukas or Lt. Commander Kalinin were forced to make terrible choices, placing comrades and friends as sheep on the metaphorical altar… Merida Island brutally bombed while the TDD fought overwhelming odds to defend it…

It wasn't the first time he'd found himself cut off and alone, under-armed and ill-supplied. But this was one of those things that experience did nothing to ease. His declining morale was only agitated by the fact that he had to find a way to protect Kaname as well. A part of him clung to hope that everything was fine and there was just a problem with the communications system and it was all fine… but another part of him was battling to accept the inevitable. Mithril was compromised. He had no one to count on.

_We're all alone out here. Amalgam is closing in and we're all alone…_

Years of training had done nothing to prepare him for the panic that rose in his throat. He glanced down at Kaname, wide-eyed. It was different now. It wasn't about just surviving anymore, it was about protecting them both. Protecting that frail, thin form curled near his feet, protecting the memories and thoughts and secrets behind those expressive eyes, protecting those small delicate arms that encompassed his whole world, his whole future. He tried to quell the panic in his chest.

_Give me strength. Make me stronger, smarter, faster. Please, Allah, give me strength to protect her._

He wasn't in the habit of praying. It had always seemed like a waste of thought, asking favors of some invisible being. But now he understood the motivation behind the muttered prayers the men in Helmajistan whispered before battle.

_Just let me be strong enough to keep her safe._

He didn't want to save the world or even Japan. He just wanted to protect the one person who'd ever made him want anything more than a soldier's life. He wanted to see where the future took them both. He wanted to see her smile again, hear her laugh. He wanted to make her happy, the way a man was supposed to make a woman happy. The vague thought of children crossed his mind, giving him a good jarring.

_Let me protect her and the life she deserves to have._

He swallowed and shifted just a little. He squared his shoulders and set his jaw. He went through his mental checklist about perimeters and ammunition and escape routes for the eighth time. And then… he waited. He didn't know what for. Mithril probably wasn't coming, and Amalgam very well might know by now exactly where he was hiding. But he waited none the less, praying for something he'd heard about called a miracle.

Dawn broke over the surrounding landscape. If he squinted he thought he could see the sea through the trees. Evac-13 was chosen for its proximity to the sea. That would make Kaname happy. She liked to look at the sea. He almost smiled, patiently waiting for her to wake up so he could show her.

She did wake up, at about 0700 hours. He had her munch on dried peaches in hopes of bringing her blood sugar level – and maybe her mood – up. It seemed to work for the most part, but she was still shaken and depressed by the situation they were in and he was sure there was not much he could do to relieve her of that. He tried to keep her talking, but it was like the blind leading the blind.

Kaname had gotten a number of calls on her cell, which she checked briefly before turning back off. No calls from anyone at school but mostly from her father in New York. Nothing from Wraith either.

They waited.

Even to him, it seemed like an eternity.

It finally happened around 0900 hours.

" Urzu 7 do you –" the radio began, almost unintelligible through the static. He lunged for the transceiver while Kaname yelped. " – repeat, Urzu 7, do you copy?!"

He desperately cranked a dial to increase the range of the receiver. It was a woman's voice.

_Mao?!_

He wanted it to be. He'd give almost anything to hear her voice, confident and strong. He wanted her to tell him what to do.

" This is Urzu 7, having trouble understanding due to static, over…"

It was the longest moment of his life, waiting for that reply.

" Up your receiver strength, I'm upping my transmitter… any better, over?"

He felt like giggling.

" Loud and clear." His relief was audible.

" Bet you've had a scare, eh?"

The only problem was that it was most definitely not Mao. It wasn't anyone he recognized. But anything was better than no one at all.

But was it friend or foe?

" Urzu 7, this is Codename Wraith. Password is Bonta-kun 4-20. Please have Angel verify."

He looked to Kaname who nodded fervently.

" Verified. What's going on, over?"

" Oh not much. You're an absolute cretin, you know that?"

Wraith's tone had gone oddly casual. Sousuke frowned. That was a new insult…

His eyes shot wide.

" A cretin?" he asked slowly.

" Right, a cretin." Wraith said it purposefully.

_The cretin's paradox. All cretins are liars, said the cretin. _

" I'm glad to hear everything's fine." He said slowly. Kaname looked at him bewildered. He ignored her, he had to consider every word carefully.

" Right. What evac point are you at? And you'd better not fib to get some alone time with Angel."

_Don't lie this one time._

" Thirteen." He said simply.

" Alright, that one is fine." Wraith said conversationally. " Good thing you didn't go to Point 61, that one got leveled."

_There is no Evac Point 61. It must be 16. We're not safe here._

" Then we will hold position. Should I expect back up?"

" Oh yeah, you know Angel is Mithril's top priority."

Kaname looked relieved but Sousuke visibly flinched.

_It's bad. It's really bad._

" I…I…" he couldn't speak.

" Unfortunately, I won't be able to join you two for evac, so enjoy some good old relaxing quality time."

_He must intend on joining us there. Keep alert._

" Right. Don't hurry." He said.

" Will do. Over and out."

And the radio went silent. Sousuke leaned his head on the steering wheel.

" What? What's wrong? That was good news, right?" Kaname sounded so hopeful.

" No, that was bad news."

*+*+*

Sousuke had driven them to a spot three hours north of their first stop. She tried not to think. But as hard as she tried, she could not escape the shuddering sobs that occasionally overwhelmed her. Sousuke comforted her, when they came, but it felt faint and far away.

She felt herself shivering on the brink of a cold new world that she didn't like. She wished she could go back to her cozy bubble in her little apartment that no one could break. She wanted to go back to before she was a liability, a danger. She wanted to be strong, useful, confident. She wanted to be an asset to her friends in all situations, not a danger, not dead weight taking up rations. Why did she always wind up feeling so useless?

She busied herself for several hours by playing with the Cretin Code, as Sousuke called it. She started by assigning numbers to each letter of the English alphabet and then used simple mathematics to determine opposite numbers. She then put the corresponding letters together in a jumble. Sousuke was surprised by the elaborate codes she mapped out on the notebook she'd brought with them. He complimented her, but she felt frustrated by them, because they were unfinished and simplistic in her eyes, and frustrated with him for not seeing it. She endeavored to make it more complex. She bit her lip until it bled, mapping code after code until the English letters and kanji seemed to swim on the page.

It seemed like moments later when Sousuke shook her shoulder. But right away she knew something was wrong. The light in the sky was dimmer, aged… like sunset. It had been midday when she started doodling.

" You were… talking to yourself." Sousuke said quietly, eyes drifting down to the scribbled pages in her hands. There were eight, and both were filled front and back with a mesh of English and kanji, all written in elaborate code. The lines of code were written every which way, and she could not immediately discern a pattern. As a matter of fact, nothing on the page but her own handwriting seemed familiar.

"Oh god…" she moaned, feeling her shoulders heave.

" It's… one of those Whispered things, right?" Sousuke said, obliging her sudden need to be in his arms. " I've seen the Captain do it too. Talk to herself and draw things. She always said it was just a Whispered thing and only to stop her when she starts getting loud…"

Normally she wouldn't want to hear Sousuke talking about Tessa, especially when his arms were wrapped around her. But she didn't mind. His quiet observation was calming her down some, and he sensed it.

" I'm sure it's normal for Whispereds. Like dreaming or blinking. I'm sure it's something you just can't help."

" I have a headache." She muttered.

" There's some pain medication back here, I think it's just –"

Sousuke moved suddenly, trying to reach one of the boxes in the back, but he lost his balance and toppled towards the floor. It was unusual for Sousuke to lose his balance at all… she had suspected he'd stayed up all night keeping watch but he'd denied it, and now she knew for sure. He fell on his back, Kaname pressed to his chest. She knew it was an instinct on his part, something he did without thinking. But suddenly she was sprawled on his chest, straddling his lower stomach, her view full of his wide eyes. His hands on her waist were like fire on her skin through her tee-shirt. He smelled distinctly of gunpowder, sweat, and the faint scent of the deodorant he'd put on early that morning for lack of a shower. He smelled like Sousuke. He smelled male. His eyes were darkening again, that same dark expression from that morning on her bed, when he came back from the mission, when he'd pinned her to the couch. She could feel his hard chest muscles contract with the sharp breath he took and she could feel his heart thudding wildly in his chest, in tandem with her own.

She wasn't sure what was happening. She thought he might have muttered something, or maybe she had. She couldn't make out what. She thought she was feeling too much, like it was impossible for a human to perceive all the sensory input that was currently flooding her. She felt her lips part and Sousuke stared at them, his face a picture of rapture. The burning heat was back, twisting just below her belly button.

Her mind ground to a screeching halt when his hands moved suddenly, shakingly, up her ribs. It might have tickled, but she was too busy remembering how to breathe to giggle.

She felt like she should do something. He had moved. Was it her turn? Was that how it worked? His hands moved back down to her waist and then back up and his eyes lids drooped some, giving him a peaceful expression. He was taking too many turns. She thought she should do something again.

She resolved herself to do the next thing that came to her mind, regardless of what it was.

So she suddenly pressed her lips to his.

He stiffened beneath her.

His lips felt soft.

_Oh god what have I done? What do I do now?_

She'd been kissed before. But that was just it. She'd been kissed. She'd never been the kisser. Sousuke was stiff as a board beneath her.

_He doesn't… he didn't… oh god._

Mortified, she began to pull away but a force against the back of her head stopped her. Only then did she noticed he'd moved a hand from her side to her head, fingers weaving gently through her hair as he held her face near his. He did break the kiss, but looked up into her eyes. His eyes were dark as storm clouds.

" I don't know what to do. I don't know how to…" he blushed, and she thought it was cute. " Kiss." He said it slowly, like it was a foreign word.

" I'm not sure either." She admitted breathlessly. " But I think it's something like this…" she leaned down again, brushing her lips to his. She felt more of them this time, eyes screwed shut like she'd seen in movies. She felt a particularly smooth section of his lip that she thought might be a faint scar. His lips were dry and so were hers. She knew something about… tongue kissing…but was absolutely terrified to initiate it.

She needn't have worried.

Apparently, Sousuke's instincts kicked in and he suddenly took her top lips between both of his and nibbled on it lightly, both sucking and grazing his teeth gently against her lip.

The heat in her belly tripled right then.

She flicked her tongue against his lip and suddenly his tongue was in her mouth, crashing against hers. Right about then, all cognitive thought stopped. All she could do was meekly whimper as he dominated the kiss.

He broke the kiss suddenly, gasping for air, which gave her a moment to find her mind again. Her hands were fisted in his shirt and his hands were leaving trails of fire up her back.

" W-where did you learn to kiss like that?" she stuttered, feeling thoroughly flabbergasted. He blinked lazily, dark grey eyes regarding her with a hunger she'd never noticed before. He shrugged.

" Seemed like the right thing to do." He said blankly. He blinked again, doubt flickering over his features. " Was it bad?" he asked, voice full of self-conscious doubt. She'd never thought she'd hear Sousuke Sagara, Mr. I'm-a-Specialist, ever sound like that. She almost giggled.

" No, I liked it."

He sighed, a funny half-smile spreading over his somber face.

" Then let me try again."

He leaned in to capture lips again, and right about then, there was a rap on the window.

" Aw c'mon you two rabbits! Stop making bunny love! How are you supposed to protect her if all your doing is getting a good view of her and not the perimeter, Sergeant?!"

Sousuke practically dumped her to the floor and shot out the back of the van like he'd been fired from a torpedo tube.

She could have killed Wraith right then, and right there. And she fully intended to. Right after she recovered from the embarrassment at being discovered in such an indecent position. By Wraith. Who probably took pictures. And video.

She clambered out of the back and stormed over to where Wraith was harassing a stiff Sousuke, completely prepared to demonstrate several variations of the suplex, but Wraith, for once in her life without a disguise, was surprisingly quick.

" Just cause you got the drop on me once before…" Wraith said warningly.

She was already clambering over Sousuke, threatening death and destruction and barely being restrained when Sousuke spoke.

" Once before?"

She leapt away from him as though burned and Wraith froze. Sousuke must have smelled something funny because his expression turned serious with startling speed. He turned to Wraith slowly.

" I would be the last person in the world to mistake Chidori for a normal civilian, and I am more aware than most of her surprising capabilities. But I was informed that you are a special Intelligence Operative. The term that was used was 'one of the best.' I have had my reservations on that subject, but may I assume that I misheard you and someone with absolutely no formal training did not actually 'get the drop' on you?"

Sousuke's voice was cold, penetrating. And even though his eyes were turned away from her, she could imagine those steely eyes boring holes through her. Wraith could only gape at the sudden transformation Sousuke had undergone.

" I am expecting an answer, Codename Wraith." He warned after a moment of silence.

" I don't answer to you, Sergeant." Wraith spat venomously.

" Yes and I imagine you even outrank me. But where Chidori's safety is concerned you will answer to me regardless of the chain of command or I will find a chain and show you exactly who is in command."

There was a moment of silence before Wraith sighed and ran a hand through her sloppy black hair.

" You'll make a good commander some day, you know?" she muttered. Sousuke didn't budge. Wraith sighed again. " Look, I promised not to say anything and regardless of what you think of me, I make a habit of keeping promises. Ask your girlie over there some time, why don't you? It's her story, really. I just played a part. A lame one, but yeah…" Wraith shrugged. " We need to be working together anyway, not threatening each other with hardcore S&M." Sousuke glanced back at her with a confused expression but she couldn't meet his eyes. " We need to get moving."

" When and where is our pick up?" Sousuke asked, mind already back on the job at hand.

" Never and nowhere. There is no pick up."

She had to shake her head a couple times. She was sure she hadn't heard right.

" What?" Sousuke's voice was practically a whisper.

" There is no pick up. We're stranded."


	6. Chapter 6

Notes: Yay for mush. Lots of it. Happy Christmas or whatever you celebrate. Failing that, have a happy new year.

He could hear the shower running next door.

Wraith was leaning thoughtfully against the door frame of his cheap western-style chain motel room. He was sitting on the hard bed, elbows on his knees, regarding her.

It was dark, and a number of pieces of tin were strung across the windows. There was a similar noise trap set up in the room next door. It was primitive but he wasn't equipped for anything more.

" This place isn't secure." He said plaintively.

" One in a million chance they find us here."

" Amalgam has time and resources for those odds."

" You're paranoid."

" You're careless."

There was a moment of silence while Wraith ran hand through her hair.

" Well, they were fresh out of portable fortresses. What more do you want?"

He had no answer for that.

" What are we going to do?" he asked instead.

" Eat. Sleep. Eat again. Drive north in the morning. Maybe catch a ferry to Hokkaido. There are lots of fun things to do in Hokkaido. Maybe take Kaname to a nice ski resort. She could use the distraction."

" The ferries won't run, there's a state of emergency in effect. She won't be distracted by ski slopes, you know that. And that wasn't what I meant."

" I know."

The both stopped to listen to the water running in the next room. A vague, hazy thought of Kaname's nude body covered in rivulets of hot water flickered through his mind, giving him a sharp feeling in his stomach.

" Shouldn't you be in there standing watch over her?" he asked.

" She needs her space to think things through."

" I swear if something happens to her…" he let the threat hang and Wraith largely ignored it.

Again they were silent. He wondered what Wraith was thinking. His own thoughts were dark.

" Do you know if anyone is alive, at least?" he asked finally.

Wraith didn't need to ask him to elaborate.

" I was wondering when you'd ask." Her tone indicated she was less than comfortable with the topic they were about to pursue. " I don't know anything for sure. I got two emergency signals from Merida Island, right before I saw the Venoms for myself. And then one transmission from your CO after I called you two. Grosseaux was his name, right?"

He nodded, hating the past tense form of the verb "to be" and all its morbid indications.

" Yeah. He didn't say much. Just that Mithril was under attack and not to expect back up."

He hated Grosseaux right then. At least some form of encouragement would have been appreciated. He must have had a sour look on his face because Wraith sighed.

" It sucks. I know." Was all she said.

He leveled his gaze on her. Her face betrayed no inner thoughts but he thought she must have felt something.

" You know…" she said after a long moment in which the two of them considered each other thoughtfully. " I would have thought you would have been all 'you're a woman?!' when you first saw me."

He blinked thoughtfully.

" So that's not a disguise." He said finally.

" Uh-" Wraith suddenly laughed after a surprised stammer. " Got me, soldier-boy. This is the real me. But I do have a thousand other faces."

The water suddenly stopped and the two of them listened to the sounds of Kaname getting out of the shower. He tried to ignore the visualizations that suddenly raced through his mind, causing a thin film of sweat to develop on his features.

" Hello?" Kaname's voice suddenly called, full of apprehension and self-doubt. He was already halfway to the door before Wraith scurried into the room and locked the door behind her. He frowned.

" I'm here." Wraith announced, voice full of pep and charm. He could hear them clearly through the wall that separated his room from theirs.

" Oh. Where's Sousuke?"

His chest tightened wonderfully at the way she asked for him, softly, quietly, longingly.

" Winding down for the night. We should too. Long day ahead of us."

" Oh. Right." Kaname sounded downcast.

He wanted to comfort her. He wanted to put his arms around her and promise her that everything would be okay. But the thin hotel wall separating him from the warmth of her embrace felt like an entire frontline of M9's. So he turned off the light and double checked the flimsy locks, grabbed his favorite Glock 19 and rolled beneath the bed. It was a smallish full size and was pressed against the wall. It would do nothing to shield him from a determined AS pilot but would help a lot against a stealth strike force. He could only hope that any such strike force would be more inclined to take him out before trying to go after Kaname, giving Wraith time to escape with his only joy into the night.

Far from comforting him, his thoughts only caused him to stiffen. It was going to be a long night.

It was several hours later when he heard a soft knock at his door. He had only been dozing lightly, so the soft rapping had him up and moving silently across the floor in no time. Glock at the ready, he unlocked the door and opened it a crack.

Kaname's overbright eyes and small, sad smile greeted him.

Wordlessly, he opened the door for her fully and shut it behind her, locking it again. She entered the room fully and stood in its middle. He woefully noted that she stood in full view of the window, wearing only her striped pajamas. He wore only a white tee-shirt and his cargo pants.

He heard, rather than saw, her suddenly begin to sob.

He had her in his arms instantly, turning his own back to the window. Let any sniper in the world try. Damn the consequences. He needed her in his arms as much as she needed to be in them.

He had no comforting words to offer her, no soft soothing sounds like one of her friends or any other guy in the world would give her. All he had was the assurance that he would hold her as long as she wanted, and he would hold her as the most important person in the entire world. She was safe, he wanted her to know that. She wept for only a moment in his arms before pulling away, wiping her eyes, and offering him a small smile.

" Sorry." She whispered. He shook his head.

" Don't."

She smiled again.

" You should be asleep." He said, his own voice at a low whisper.

" I couldn't."

" I couldn't either." He whispered quietly, gesturing to her to sit on his unruffled bed. She did and he sat beside her, turning himself so that he could look at her directly and keep the window in his peripheral vision.

He waited. She would speak when she was ready, and there was no point in trying to rush her.

" I wanted to… to explain what Wraith said today. About me sneaking up on her." Kaname whispered finally, her voice indicating she was having difficulty with the words. He tried to not move or even breathe loudly. She was on a hair trigger, he knew that. Anything could set her off on a tangent of trying to relieve her stress. " But first, I need to hear you say something, Sousuke."

He waited. He would wait forever if she needed him to.

" Tell me what you told me when you came back from your mission."

He blinked at her, confused. He had already said that, what need was there for him to say it again?

" I know you don't understand why, but just trust me when I say that I need to hear it again. I'll need to hear that every day for the rest of my life, Sousuke, because I'm insecure and useless like that."

He didn't think she was useless. But he suspected this had a lot to do with her outburst earlier that day about the attack on Tokyo being her fault. That was a different problem that he would tackle another time.

" You're the most important person in the world to me." He whispered, covering her small, smooth hand with his own large, scarred, calloused one. She sighed, and at first he was alarmed. Had he said it wrong?

" Thank you, Sousuke. I really needed that." She took a deep breath. " It started the day you disappeared…"

She spoke quietly, methodically. She relayed the event of the three days after he'd left Tokyo the way she would tell him what he missed in Japanese Classics. He seethed. He raged. He wanted to snarl and growl and rip Wraith's entrails out and strangle the egotistical git with them. But he did all that quietly. This was one of those things Kaname needed to say. And he needed her to say it.

There could be no lie, no secret between them.

Finally, she began to explain her risky operation to corner Wraith. His rage doubled. It was bad enough that Wraith was thick-skulled enough to ignore the obvious signs that Kaname was alarmed about something, and it took more than paranoia to alarm the unshakable Kaname Chidori. But to allow her to venture into the red light district, alone? And into a love hotel – he nearly screamed with rage when she told him that – with a stranger?

Then she told him what happened on the roof top.

The rage bled from him like the blood from his face. He had read her report about small AS's. But he had never imagined…

He hated Leonard Testarossa. He hated him with a fervor he had never felt before.

She rubbed her lips again.

She could still feel him. He knew that. She didn't need to explain, she only looked up at him with a want in her eyes and he had never wanted to give anyone anything as badly as he wanted to give her everything her heart desired. He wanted her to know he was sorry, sorry for leaving her, sorry that people like that bastard existed, sorry that he was so much of an idiot that he could leave her even for a moment.

He kissed her. Suddenly and forcefully, the only way he had done anything in his life. He felt the world rushing past him. Everything was going faster than ever before. Her hands fisted in his shirt then flattened against his chest, feeling his contours in a way that made him shudder in the most pleasurable way. He ran one hand through her hair – soft as exotic silks in Helmajistan – to hold her head in place. His other hand roved up and down her side, her back, her face… anything he could touch, he wanted to touch. She arched against him and made the most wonderful mewl into their kiss when he trailed his fingers up her back and he nearly froze as a pair of fleshy mounds suddenly encountered his chest. He broke the kiss and stared, wide-eyed, at her flushed face. She blinked in embarrassment and blushed further, but his hand at the small of her back would not let her move away.

He felt like he should say something.

He had no idea what.

So he fell back on his old habit of letting action speak for him.

His hands roamed slowly over her and he watched in rapture as she closed her eyes and sighed, red and swollen lips slightly parted as she just let herself feel.

" That feels so good…" she whispered as his hands moved up her neck and cupped her face. He kissed her again, lightly this time, full of pride. She felt good. He had done that. He'd made her feel good.

She shifted a little and moved a little closer to him and he wondered how that was even possible. His mind turned to mush when she started doing that thing with her hands on chest. She was nibbling on his ear.

_Wah… wuh… sh-should that feel that g-good…?_

He managed to articulate his approval of her maneuver by grinding out a throaty moan. A noise he could not believe he had made.

Kaname's answer was to smirk – he could feel it, against his ear – and move down to graze her teeth against his neck.

He wondered if she was drawing the same ridiculous sense of pride from making him feel good as he had from his end of things.

Something was squirming in the back of his brain ranting about security and safety and perimeters but the situation was far too interesting to care.

Kaname took initiative and leaned back onto the bed, pulling him down on top of her. He supported himself on his hands, positioned on either side of her shoulders, and found his knees between her legs. Something about the entire scenario made his heart rate and the discomfort in his pants increase. He paused to look at her. She was small. He'd known she was physically smaller than him but her ability to pitch him across the room like he weighed no more than a softball was misleading. She seemed tiny beneath him. His hands near her arms made him feel freakishly large.

While he looked at her, she had been looking at him, and he was ensnared by her eyes. They were full of some emotion he had no name for but it looked too close to the border of fear or sadness for him to allow it to continue. He kissed her again, meaningfully this time, and let her pull him closer. Again, he found her soft, lithe body flush against his. Again he could feel the soft mounds of flesh on her chest against him. Again his heart rate hitched up. He settled his weight on top of her as he continued the kissing, and she sighed into his mouth. He slipped his right knee further up, forcing her to part her pajama clad legs further, instinctively pressing his hips to hers. The friction made him hum in pleasure and Kaname was fidgeting pleasurably beneath him, her airy whimpers encouraging him.

He pulled back and regarded her again, but he found her eyes half-closed, amber orbs glistening and overbright in the moonlight through the window…

_Window… sniper… over eight possible positions… risk…_

He blinked down at her and she frowned. He couldn't help it. His head jerked up and he regarded the window suspiciously.

The things she had been doing to him had felt too good to be real. They had consumed his every thought. But he had to protect her.

He rose to his knees and regarded the window a little more, searching for telltale glints of moonlight against scopes, but found none. Finally, he turned his eyes back to her, expecting to find annoyance. Instead he found concern.

She had propped herself up on her elbows and was looking at him with fearful eyes.

" Well? Is there something out there?"

The situation they were in must have really gotten to her. He leaned back down and settled on top of her, embracing her. She rubbed her nose against his shirt.

" No. Nothing." He said, wishing he could believe himself and convince that ever cautious voice in the back of his mind that there really was nothing out there.

" We… we should stop… I'm not… I don't…" she was shivering. " I don't think I'm ready to go any further."

He now felt like he had a general idea of what "further" was.

" I'll take you back to your bed-"

" Can I stay here with you tonight?"

For once, he didn't mind that she had interrupted him.

" I just… feel safe with you…" she whispered, blushing as she ducked her head to his chest to avoid meeting his eyes.

" I don't mind." He said, suddenly feeling embarrassed. He was on top of – in his personal opinion – the most beautiful, intelligent, courageous, strong woman he'd ever met and she was asking to stay with him during the night. He felt like he should say something more. Something swab and debonair. Kurz would know the right thing. But he didn't and saying nothing was better than saying the wrong thing.

" I'm glad." She said softly, her small smile dashing all his doubts and worries away.

*+*+*

Early morning was the rudest time of day. Normally.

Today was an exception.

She woke to the feeling of fingers brushing over her cheek and along her jaw line. She felt warm and comfortable and made a soft moaning noise to shows her appreciation.

" Kaname."

Sousuke's voice. Deep, rumbling, comforting. She cracked her eyes open and found herself staring at his half-lidded grey eyes. He offered her a little half smile.

" G'morning." She gritted out, stretching her arms only to find them inhibited by something. Pausing to check she remembered that she was under Sousuke's bed in a hotel. Somewhere Tohoku region. Sousuke's arms were around her and she remembered falling asleep in his embrace. She tried to smile for him, but the memory of Tokyo was causing a tearful burning in her eyes. He held her tightly for a long moment, offering her all the comfort he could, and she took it greedily.

_He gives me so much and what do I give him? A great big tease. I'm so selfish._

" You should get back to your room before Wraith wakes up." He advised.

It seemed like all to soon she was tip toeing back to her bed in the room next door, the cold floor stinging her bare feet. She paused to check Wraith, who was sleeping peacefully in complete ignorance of her charge's absenteeism in a twin sized bed identical to her own. Without further delay, she crawled into her bed but it was cold and small and lacked a certain warm soldier whose arms she craved.

She didn't notice, in her groggy and lonely state, that one of Wraith's eyes was cracked open just slightly, and the tiniest of smirks gracing the Operative's features.

When she officially woke an hour later, she was presented with pancakes by Sousuke. The shower was running and Wraith was whistling as she washed, and she could tell that Sousuke was annoyed by it. But the two of them shared a double order of pancakes cheerfully enough.

Wraith rushed her through her packing and Sousuke rushed them both out of the "over-priced, badly secured death trap" as he called it and back into the brown van.

She hated the brown van. It represented all the bad changes in her life over the last two days.

Sometime around noon Wraith turned on the portable TV out of sheer boredom.

She never forgot what the three of them saw on the small screen.

" – offering to leave Tokyo completely in exchange for one Japanese citizen… The person the terrorists are demanding be delivered to them is Kaname Chidori, a fifteen year old high school student at Jindai High. The father of this girl, an official with the UN, has stated that he does not know his daughter's whereabouts… Again, the terrorists have taken several hostages and are threatening their deaths followed by the destruction of Tokyo. We are unsure of the hostages identities at this point…"

Sousuke, who had been driving, pulled over on the side of the high way. A few cars, probably filled with evacuees, passed them.

" This just in… a public statement from the father of the girl in question –"

She gasped as her father was suddenly on screen, Amane at his side, sniffling tearfully. What appeared to be a hundred microphones were pressed beneath her father's nose.

" We have been trying to contact Kaname since this disaster began but have been unable to reach her. And even if I did know where she was I wouldn't tell anyone because nothing is worth the life of my daughter!"

The reporters roared and she bit back tears.

" Do you have anything to say to your daughter, Mr. Chidori?!" one off screen reporter practically screamed.

" Yes." Her father looked dead at the camera and she honestly felt as though she were right in front of him. " Kaname, if you're watching this, run. Run and don't look back. We love you. Stay alive and run."

Wraith turned off the TV and Sousuke clambered into the back of the van, arms going around her.

" Oh god. Oh god. Oh god…" she moaned. " They're going to kill people, you have to take-"

" Don't even say it." Wraith warned.

" We won't ever." Sousuke said firmly. She sobbed again.

And then, as though answering her silent prayer for a miracle… the radio in the glove compartment crackled.

" Urzu 7 or Codename Wraith, do you copy? This is Urzu 2 requesting immediate response, over."

" Mao." Sousuke whispered, a weight of stress falling from his features as he heard the strong, assuring voice from the radio. Tears of relief replaced the tears of fear and horror in her eyes as Wraith twisted and dove for the transceiver.

" Urzu 2 this is Codename Wraith." Wraith passed the transceiver to Sousuke.

" And this is Urzu 7. Password is McAllen, over."

" Good to hear from you, Sousuke." Mao sounded relieved.

" Not as good as it is to hear from you." Sousuke muttered.

" Alright, now don't get soft on me. Do not hold position, repeat, do not hold position. I need you guys moving. I assume Angel is with you?"

Sousuke offered the transceiver to Kaname, holding the transfer button down for her.

" I'm here." She sniffled.

" Don't cry, girl, you'll get Kurz all choked up."

" You really will, Angel. There could be tears." Kurz's cheerful tone added.

" What's the situation, Urzu 2?" Sousuke said, taking back the receiver. Mao took a long moment to respond.

" Bad. Really bad. Me and Kurz are all Mithril could spare. We're nearly to Tokyo now. There are only four Venom types left and –"

" Did you bring Arbalest?" Sousuke interrupted.

" Negative, kid. Your orders are to keep moving at all costs, protect Angel. We have received information indicating that someone with a unit of what appears to be eight foot tall robots are trailing you. Repeat, keep moving."

She felt her stomach drop through her shoes into the floor of the van with dread.

" Roger. How do you intend on beating four Venom's without the Lambda Driver?" Sousuke ground out, obviously displeased.

" Well, those things can only run for twenty-four hours without maintenance, so we're counting on them being just plain tuckered."

" Does Angel know who the hostages are?" Kurz suddenly asked, voice low and serious.

" Negative." Sousuke's voice was tight.

" Then don't turn on the TV. At all. Don't worry. We'll contact you and set up a rendezvous point ASAP." Kurz said.

If it was possible for her to feel worse, she would have.

" Urzu 2 and Urzu 6, heading to battle. Over and out."

The line died.

And they were alone again.


	7. Chapter 7

Notes: Right. Back from holidays. Violence in this one.

Kaname's back against his back made it hard for him to focus on anything, much less the detailed work of dismantling and cleaning his guns. His mind was somewhere between Tokyo and the memories of the night before.

Her uncertainty had ground him to a halt, but his body had not stopped responding. He wanted to touch her. He wanted to hear her moan and whimper and mewl beneath him. He wanted to make her feel good. He wanted her to feel the incredible pleasure he had only tapped on.

He didn't want to think about the faces and the places, the smells and sounds, the hum of a city he had grown to like a lot. He didn't want to ponder the identity of hostages, and he didn't want to hate himself for not being able to save them as well.

He didn't want to be a guilt-stricken soldier, but the weight of his choices prevented him from being a normal guy.

Most of all, he didn't want to think about the unit of miniature AS's following them.

He still had not seen the machines, but the threat of them hovering just out his sight made him anxious.

Kaname shifted behind him. She was leaning her back to his, garnishing some comfort from his nearness. He sat crosslegged with the parts of his Glock in his lap while Wraith drove steadily. None of them spoke. Even Wraith's cynical humor fell silent under the melancholy that hung over them.

It had been twenty-four hours since their last contact with Mao and Kurz. And he was trying to mentally prepare himself for the possibility that the short conversation yesterday morning was the last time he'd ever hear their voices.

It hurt.

They had stopped at another cheap inn – this one with an available Laundromat – and Kaname had come to his room again in the middle of the night. They spoke in hushed whispers and clipped sentences, she expressing her fear of losing the people she loved and her guilt over her involvement, he expressing his sincere apology for being absent when she needed him most.

They had fallen together again, as though the contact would wipe away the pain, guilt, fear, and bitterness. He wasn't sure what it would accomplish but to make him ache for her in ways that made him blush and stammer. His adventures the night before had cemented his guesses as to how the mechanics of the act they were driving inevitably towards worked. Although he had been no more bold than previously, he had been rewarded for his endeavors with sweet hushed whimpers and the incredible feeling she gave him when she arched against his chest. He had nearly given himself a heart attack when he had discovered his hand dangerously near her breast, but he could hardly keep away from it. He had not been able to work up the courage to touch that part of her, or that incredibly hot spot between her legs that he could occasionally feel when he lost control of himself and ground against her hips. But she had allowed and encouraged his exploration of the rest of her body, all of which thoroughly delighted him.

She had also reciprocated.

Although he sensed that she was nervous, and her nervousness tended to grow along both their mounting pleasure, she seemed content to let him lead. It was an unusual switch. Kaname was, to put it bluntly, a bossy person. But when he had her in his arms, he found her quiet, complacent, and sometimes even meek. While the change was somewhat… arousing… it was also unnerving. He spent half the time expecting the harisen and the other half enamored with the noises she made.

He really liked those noises.

The noises were his downfall. He could hardly keep himself still when she whimpered or moaned or made that incredible mewling noise. She seemed to know it drove him mad and that just made her do more. He half-dreaded the noises, because the loss of control was so jarring and frightening he had to fight the urge to leap off the bed in attack position.

" I'm hungry." Kaname said suddenly, and he knew by the tone of her voice that she was on the verge of a tantrum.

" Eat a Calorie Mate." Wraith responded curtly. He frowned. He suspected Wraith was not used to being around people so much, but even a dimwit had to know that Kaname was about to snap.

" I don't want a Calorie Mate. I'm sick of them." Kaname growled.

" Fine. Eat an MRE." Wraith snapped.

" No! I want real food!" Kaname snapped back a bit more forcefully.

He recalled one instance where he had found himself trapped between the Captain and Mao, who were having one of their occasional fights… these were not fights as he knew them. They were no punches thrown, no weapons, not even arm wrestling. No… these women like to scream at each other until one or both either stormed off or burst into tears. But unlike the fights he knew, it was not over when the "fight" part ended. The two combatants would then sulk and stew for days, then have another screaming match, followed by tearful apologies, and then a long discussion about how and why the fight had ever happened. Mao had informed him that this method of disagreement led to a greater understanding of each other as people, but he had his reservations.

It was not a learning experience he was keen to relive. But he was not sure how to disarm this bomb.

" Well I'm sorry, princess, but the feast will have to wait till after I've saved your life!" Wraith shouted.

" After you've saved my life?! Ha! That's a riot!" Kaname shrilled. He winced. This would not be pretty. " All you've done is show up late, drive a van, complain that I take all the hot water, and sleep! Sousuke's the one who got me out of Tokyo!"

" Right, like Captain Dumb-shit would have even known what was happening if I hadn't called!"

" Shows what you know! Sousuke was already on top of it, you calling wasn't even necessary!" Kaname yelled. He wasn't sure about that, but knew better than to voice his opinion.

" Oh yeah, he's a regular prince in shining armor!" Wraith's voice dripped with ill-disguised sarcasm. " Don't make me puke! He's gone soft and you've made him soft! He's too busy making kissy face with you to even-"

" Shut up shut up SHUT UP!" Kaname screamed so loudly he could have sworn he heard her voice crack. He got a sound knock to the head when the van suddenly careened into the shoulder of the highway and stopped, tossing him against the back of Wraith's driver seat.

" No you shut up, you spoiled, self-righteous little prat!" Wraith had strong lungs and a booming voice. She wheeled around in the driver seat and crouched on her knees so she could glare at Kaname over the head rest. " You make me sick! Running around playing the pathetic little damsel in distress waiting for your stupid toy soldier to come and save you! Everyone in the fucking Operations Division has done cartwheels for you, trying to keep your stupid doll house world intact because you're too damn thick to realize that you're a fucking Whispered! You're a fucking liability! A danger! A freak! You want to undermine my professional skill?! Well listen up! You're the next fucking rung of human evolution and if you think people are going to love you for it you're wrong! You're different, you're dangerous! And if the bad guys don't get you first – and trust me, there will always be some bad guy – then the people you think you can trust will! It's your fault Tokyo's going to be a crater! It's your fault two of Mithril's best, two of your so-called friends are going to die! And it will be your fault when the tin soldier over there-" Wraith paused to draw a deep breath and point to him. " – dies too!"

It was too far. He knew that. Way too far. He couldn't stand, his head was pounding and his vision was hazy from the bump to the head he received. Wraith had gone too far and she seemed to realize it, eyes wide and staring at Kaname's stricken face. He normally stayed out of other people's fights, but something had gone very wrong here.

" Kaname." He tried to keep his voice steady. He put his hand to the throbbing spot on the back of his head and drew it away bloody. He instantly regretted drawing her attention to himself. She looked at him, blood on his hands and oozing down his neck, and her expression changed to that of horror.

" Kaname." He repeated, reaching for her with his clean hand. He knew something awful was about to happen. He knew it. He felt it in his gut. Perhaps he heard the screeching tires, or perhaps he smelled the gunpowder. Or maybe he just had a sense for these things. She shook her head at him, tears leaking from her frightened eyes.

" Run." He grunted.

The impact threw them all forward.

" What the fuck?!" Wraith shrieked over Kaname's scream. He managed to catch her before she collided with the boxes in the back. He watched in slow motion as the back of the van crumpled inward with the horrible sound of twisting metal.

" Drive!" He bellowed, and no sooner had he clicked the safety off his Uzi did Wraith slam on the gas pedal. He clutched Kaname to his chest and blinked to clear his vision, then whispered in her ear… " You're the most important person in the world to me."

No time for anger. No time for fear. No time for grief.

Just time to protect.

He squeezed the trigger and let everyone on the other side of the back windows of the van know that he meant business.

He maneuvered Kaname behind him and kicked the left back door of the van off its badly damaged hinges.

" I can't- I'm having a lot of trouble steering up here!" Wraith yelled.

" Just keep ahead of them!" Sousuke responded, pulling out a Glock for a more precise shot. He was grateful he had just cleaned it. He took careful aim and fired through the space in the back of the van.

His target was the offending car's driver.

He watched blood splatter through the windshield and Kaname shrieked as the passenger of the car returned fire with what sounded like a small submachine gun. The bullets riddled the van, but the retro-fitted armor plating shielded the interior from the worst of it.

" Keep down!" he shouted at Kaname over the roar of the wind and gun fire. He paused to consider his target.

It was a black towncar, American make, and the front grill was badly damaged from where the driver had used his own car to recklessly bludgeon the van. He had shot the driver clean through the head – he could make out the slumped body through the window – but one of the back passengers had leaned forward and grabbed the wheel… the dead man's foot must have still been on the gas. He considered the grill carefully, prayed to whatever god was listening that Mao was to be trusted on the structure of American vehicles, took careful aim with his Glock, and shot.

His aim must have been true, because steam suddenly erupted from under the hood. He wasted no time rejoicing, took careful aim again, and put a bullet into the interior of front passenger tire. There was a horrible screeching noise and the towncar began to swerve badly. He shot again, and now the front passenger tire was completely off the axel. The tire froze, but the dead man's foot on the gas kept the car moving, so the car began to fishtail and finally spin around the front passenger wheel.

He saw it coming before it happened.

The back end of the towncar was swinging around and was about to impact with the back of the van. Wraith had limited control, probably because something was wrong with the rear axel, and the impact had the high probability of causing the van to lose control and probably flip.

" Hang on!" he roared.

The impact threw him and Kaname both against the side of the van.

The feeling of vertigo told him the van was spinning now too.

Kaname was screaming, but he couldn't see or feel her.

Wraith was screaming too.

He alone screwed his jaw shut, casting blindly for the either of the two women.

There was another impact – he imagined they had hit a guard rail – followed by slam that threw him to the ceiling – perhaps they went airborne over a ditch and hit a side bank – then the sound of creaking and crunching metal roared in his ears as the van rolled.

He counted the times he hit the ceiling, trying not to notice that the women were no longer screaming.

Once.

Twice.

A third time.

Finally, he fell to the van's wall and felt the entire vehicle slide and finally come to a stop on its side. He could hear the hiss of the radiator leaking.

" Sousuke?" Kaname's voice, hoarse and terrified.

" Get up." He commanded, half to himself and half to her.

Something was wrong with his right knee. But he forced himself up all the same. He could see Kaname now. She had landed near the back of the van. Her right eye was swelling and there were a number of gashes on her. She was holding her ribs.

Right. Her previous injuries hadn't healed.

Something moved behind him and he automatically pointed his Glock at the source, but it was only Wraith, holding her head.

" Status report." He commanded.

" Concussion. Minor. Difficulty with motion in left shoulder. Collar bone is…" Wraith paused, moving her hand to touch her left collar bone tentatively, wincing. " Fractured, I think."

" I… can't… breathe…" Kaname rasped. " Ribs… Car… rear axel badly damaged…. Engine block… cracked… irreparable… probability ratios…."

She was going into a Whispered fit. He moved quickly and grabbed her, shaking her. The pain made her gasp.

" We have to run."

*+*+*

She couldn't run. She could barely breathe. Her injured ribs were impeding her. Wraith could run well enough and scouted ahead. Sousuke hobbled alongside her.

They were moving too slowly, and their pursuers were catching up.

Wraith returned from her run ahead, and she could see the blood matting her hair.

" Nothing but more forest that way."

There was the sound of machines moving.

" They're here." She rasped.

Wraith winced as she janked a .38 snubnose from a holster and Sousuke pressed his back up Glock into her hands. The cool weapon frightened her as badly as everything else.

" You're the most important person in the world to me." He repeated.

" I love you too, Sousuke." She answered.

He didn't have time to think. Just to react. So when the first Arastol appeared through the trees, he shot it square in the head.

He might as well have saved his ammo for all the reaction the machine made.

Wraith was discharging rounds as well, and she was shrinking back between them.

They were surrounded.

Sousuke held his fire and she knew he was counting them.

Twelve.

" It's wonderful to see you again, Kaname Chidori." A voice intoned from the woods.

She hated that voice.

Sousuke spun and shot at what he judged to be the voices direction. Nothing happened.

" I wouldn't do that again if I were you. If I die, I cannot guarantee Ms. Chidori's safety." A man with the Captain's wavy ash-blonde stepped from the woods. Sousuke leveled his Glock again, ready to blow the perverted creeps head off. " Ms. Chidori, please advise your friend that if he shoots me, the company I work for is much more likely to do you more harm than if I were alive."

That statement made Sousuke hesitate.

" Very good. Now just be a good girl while the Arastol carries you…" An Arastol stepped up to grab her and Wraith shot it. Again and again until the gun in her hand just clicked uselessly. Wraith threw it at the machine.

" No! Fuck you! Fuck you and your stupid machines! Don't you fucking touch her! I swore you'd never touch her ever again!" Wraith screamed, physically attacking the advancing robot. It caught her in it's massive hands by the throat and lifted her up.

_Not again…_

" NO!" she shrieked.

" Do as the lady says." Leonard intoned. The Arastol used its other hand to grab one of Wraith's and dangled her upside down. Then, holding her left leg in both hands, it snapped her leg with a hideous crack.

Wraith shrieked in pain as she was dropped to the ground. The Arastol stepped over Wraith who was writhing, looking at her desperately.

" For the love of God… run…" Wraith said with a moan.

She could only stare in horror at the approaching monster.

Sousuke didn't, though. He grabbed her and pulled her behind himself, firing on the Arastol until his gun also clicked uselessly. But he didn't move. Even as the machine marched right up to them, he kept her against his back.

" Hand her over and no one else gets hurt."

" Fuck you." Sousuke spat, cursing uncharacteristically.

" Step aside soldier. This is not your fight. Live and fight another day." Leonard said reasonably. Quietly. " Save the hostages. Save Tokyo. Save your own life. Just hand over the girl."

" I said, fuck you." Sousuke repeated.

" Are you really willing to die for her? Willing to kill thousands upon thousands of people for her?"

Sousuke glanced over his shoulder at her.

" I'd destroy everything if that's what it took." He said, a half smile on his face as he regarded her, in spite of the situation.

" Please, Sousuke…" she pleaded weakly. She had no air in her lungs for the words.

_Please don't die. Please don't let everyone we love die too. _

" I see. Kill him." Leonard ordered.

She shrieked. Wraith screamed.

The Arastol grabbed Sousuke and held him up by his shoulder and, without pausing, shot him.

Red sprayed behind him.

She screamed. As loud and long as she could, as his limp body hit the ground. She didn't feel her lungs ache in protest. She didn't hear Wraith's screams and pleas for her to run. She didn't feel the Arastol pick her up. She saw nothing but the blood soaked body of the boy – no, the man – she loved as the Arastol carried her away to a future he had worked so hard to protect her from.

" SOUSUKE!"


	8. Chapter 8

Notes: This chapters a bit weaker than the previous… the action is far from over though. Many many many thanks for the reviews so far. Utterly astounded at the reaction this fic has received. Half expected to be crucified for shooting Sousuke. Thank you all very much. Please bear with this slow chapter, this story is far from over.

He stared at the sky.

She was gone. That bastard had taken her.

_She's gone…_

He was bleeding badly, he knew. He couldn't feel anything below his chest, so there was no pain.

But… She was gone…

He could hear Wraith moving, she was yelling something. Her head came into his line of view and he blinked up at her hazily. Blood loss was beginning to affect him. He could hear her now, but it was like she was yelling to him from a long ways away.

" Stay awake, I'm calling for help –"

She sounded like she was crying. He looked at her and focused very, very hard. She was crying. He could hear her much better now.

" Oh god oh god…"

She had the radio from the van.

_That's right, she grabbed it when we were running._

" This is Codename Wraith calling… anyone! Please! If you can hear me, we need help!" she sobbed into the transceiver. " They've got Angel and Urzu 7 is injured… please help us!"

He reached out and grabbed her wrist. He wasn't sure why.

The pain was starting to reach him,

" You have to hold on, you stupid tin soldier, you can't die!" Wraith shouted. She must have been in pain. Wraith never cried, never shouted, never betrayed any emotion.

It must have really hurt.

He was having trouble breathing now.

He could hear the thuds of Arm Slaves approaching.

" God just leave us alone!" Wraith screamed in their direction.

" Just… run… forget… me…" he rasped.

" Oh fuck you and your pretentious self-sacrificing morals!" Wraith shouted at him.

" I'm… dying… anyway…"

She ignored him grabbing the radio again. " This system records every transmission." She told him, before pressing the transceiver button. " This is Codename Wraith and Urzu 7. We are stranded in the Tohoku region of Japan and injured. Enemy ASes are approaching. Angel had been kidnapped. If anyone ever hears this, please, save her." She shoved the transceiver towards him. " Any last words, Urzu 7?"

He was passing out. He knew it.

" Ka… Kaname…"

And then the world went foggy.

He could hear the ASes, then shouting. A pair of hands grabbed his and he opened eyes.

Like an angel of death, covered in blood, sweaty, and terrified, Melissa Mao hovered over him, just barely visible in his dying vision.

He thought he might have said her name, but he couldn't understand anything she was say to him.

"…hold on… save… Danaan… Sousuke!"

He closed his eyes again.

_She's gone._

He might have wept but he couldn't even breathe.

_She's gone. Just let me die._

Then he passed out.

He woke what seemed like moments later and immediately wished he was dead again.

The pain was greater than anything he'd ever experienced.

He screamed.

There were people yelling, hands pushing his heaving body down.

" Sousuke!" someone screamed at him, but his vision was filled with red and he couldn't see who.

_Kaname…_

He screamed in agony and passed out again.

He woke with the faraway feeling he always got when he was on a morphine drip. He could hear something beeping steadily. He forced his eyes open and found his head turned so that he was looking to his left, but it took him a moment to orient himself to know that.

He was looking at Wraith.

She looked awful. Both her eyes were nearly swollen shut and her entire left cheek was dark blue. She was wearing an oxygen mask, and smiled faintly through it. He looked closer and saw that her entire left shoulder was in a cast.

In a horrible moment, he remembered everything that had happened. The beeping came quicker.

_They took her. They took Kaname. I was shot._

His eyes shot down, the question of how badly shot tumbling haphazardly through his heavily drugged brain.

He could see his legs. Both of them. That was comforting.

" Hey, you're awake." A whispering voice noted. He looked to his other side where Kurz's face filled his view.

" How do you feel?" Kurz asked in a whisper. He tried to speak found he couldn't. " Ah, right, don't try to talk. They've got a breathing tube down your throat." That explained that. " You really scared us for a couple of days. Thought we might lose you." He blinked. " So… yeah… the bullet hit your side. You lost a kidney." Kurz said, clearly uncomfortable to be telling him this.

It took a moment for this information to sink in.

_A kidney?_

" Hang on just a sec, buddy." Kurz said, standing from his kneeling position and stepping away from his hospital bed. Behind Kurz, he could see Mao, slumped in a chair and fast asleep. He watched as Kurz gently placed a palm again Mao's cheek.

" Wake up, beautiful. Sousuke's awake. Wake up." Kurz whispered to her.

It made him think of Kaname, and those two wonderful mornings they had shared.

He was surprised that he needed to blink to refocus his eyes.

Mao was waking up.

" Huzzabah?" she muttered, looking up at Kurz quizzically, then to him on the bed. " Sousuke!" she cried, leaping unsteadily to her feet and rushing to his side. " Shit kid, you scared me! Thought I'd lost you!"

He was surprised again, at the tears in her eyes.

" We lost so many people over the last week. I couldn't stand it if…"

It was getting harder and harder to keep his eyes open, but Mao's hand against his forehead gave him some small comfort.

" Rest and get well, Sousuke."

_Please, Allah, let me save her._

And he slept again.

*+*+*

She didn't know where they were taking her.

They put a blindfold on her, and handcuffed her hands.

She figured they put her on a helicopter, because she could hear the blades.

It must have been hours but she didn't notice. She just cried.

_They shot him… they shot him…_

She was carried down some bumpy road after the helicopter ride. It was hot and muggy.

Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime, she was deposited in a chair and her blindfold was removed. She found she was sitting across the table from Leonard Testarossa.

" You look beautiful when you cry." He said plainly.

She ignored him.

_What if he's dead? What if I never see him again?_

" I'm sure you know why you're here."

_What if everyone is dead? What if Mao and Kurz and Tessa…_

" You know that you are a Whispered."

_And Kyoko and Shinji and Mizuki and Ono…_

" The secrets you hold inside you can change the world."

_And Isei and Ren and Hayashimizu…_

" And don't you think it's time the world changed?"

_What if they're all dead? And it's my fault._

" You can help bring about a new world order."

_Because I'm weak. Because I'm selfish._

" Wouldn't you like that, Miss Chidori?"

She heard him for the first time. She raised her tear-glazed eyes to his.

She'd always thought herself a peaceful person. Sure, she had her tantrums, but with all the stress in her life, she'd always thought it was only natural.

She'd never really hated anyone before.

She hated him now.

She wanted him to die.

She wanted him to bleed.

Yes, it was her fault. Yes, she was stupid and selfish. Yes, it had cost her everything. But she was still alive. And hate, she knew now, was powerful motivator.

" I will kill you."

She said it so calmly, so serenely. Even the smooth Leonard Testarossa quirked an eyebrow at her.

" I will kill you and destroy everything you're trying to do." She elaborated. Cold. Hard.

Hate.

" I don't think you comprehend the situa-"

She didn't give him any more warning.

It was their own stupidity for not securing her to the chair.

She leapt up and grabbed the aluminum folding chair with her handcuffed hands, and hurled it at him. He barely brought his arms up to defend himself. But the moments confusion gave her time, time to overturned the heavy wooden table on him. As soon as he was pinned, she turned tail and threw open the door to the concrete square room they were and punched the first guard that she saw.

In retrospect, it was not a very well-thought-out idea. There were at least half a dozen well-armed men in the hallway who had no problems subduing her, and she still had at least three broken ribs. But she was okay with it. She wasn't a specialist, after all. She'd learn by trial and error.

Besides, the little escapade did have two good outcomes. The first was that she'd gotten a good look at the layout of the facility she was in. The second was that she had given Leonard a bad bloody nose.

Sousuke would have been proud of her.

_I won't be stupid and selfish anymore._

" That was not very smart of you, Miss Chidori…" Leonard intoned, wiping the blood from his face as two guards pinned her arms.

_I swear I'll be stronger. I promise, Sousuke…_

" But I am glad you've made things interesting…" Leonard's grin would've made her shiver two weeks ago. Now, she just spat at him.

_If you're still alive out there, I will see you again._


End file.
